As you can see from the title, it’s being an awesome day today. For those of you reading who have ever said or heard the phrase to a person with MDD “just cheer up” it’s much harder to do that than you would think. For example – I did some homework earlier today, payed my enrollment deposit for school, and that was kind of productive at least. Then it hit. It makes me want to cry to even think about continuing reading the text book, which is pathetic, but hey. Knowing how stupid and uncalled for this is makes it worse. I’m moping, being self-pitying and selfcritical, and knowing that I need to just man up and deal with it like an adult makes it harder to do so. I’ve been really moody on and off for the last few days, and I want to just go hide. My self-harm addiction keeps creeping up and won’t leave me alone. I haven’t, I’m still clean, but son of a freaking bass clef it is so hard.
Any questions you may have for me about this sort of thing, just ask and I’ll tell you….
We lost another one. I didn’t know her, I don’t know who it is, she wasn’t even in the same state anymore. Suicide and depression is a growing concern, and we need to all be aware of it. There is a famous quote that says “in the end, we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Speak up, be a friend. Be the one person to stand up, or the person to smile at them or something. We can’t lose any more lives, we can’t tear apart any more families. Be kind, and don’t joke about suicide or self harm, that only adds to the hurt, guilt and shame. Let’s all reach out to those in need. There are many great websites that talk about warning signs to look for, and there’s always somebody who can help. If you are going through this, let someone you trust know. If you know someone, be a friend, and get some help. You never know what could save – or end – a life.
Just got back from a concert that was an hour-and a half long, and it was all our orchestra. Lots of amazing music, it was worth it, congratulations to all our soloists who performed in our night of concertos. Time for me to step up and practice my solo that I’m taking to festival in two weeks…