As you can see from the title, it’s being an awesome day today. For those of you reading who have ever said or heard the phrase to a person with MDD “just cheer up” it’s much harder to do that than you would think. For example – I did some homework earlier today, payed my enrollment deposit for school, and that was kind of productive at least. Then it hit. It makes me want to cry to even think about continuing reading the text book, which is pathetic, but hey. Knowing how stupid and uncalled for this is makes it worse. I’m moping, being self-pitying and selfcritical, and knowing that I need to just man up and deal with it like an adult makes it harder to do so. I’ve been really moody on and off for the last few days, and I want to just go hide. My self-harm addiction keeps creeping up and won’t leave me alone. I haven’t, I’m still clean, but son of a freaking bass clef it is so hard.
Any questions you may have for me about this sort of thing, just ask and I’ll tell you….